This week I found some extra time to create a couple of new playlists for my car. On one playlist in particular, I compiled a bunch of songs from various movie soundtracks. Yesterday as I was driving to class I previewed my new tunes. The first song that played was an 80's inspired pop song from the movie, "Music and Lyrics". As Hugh Grant's singing voice blared through my speakers, he redundantly sang the lyric "figuring out... you and me... is like doing... a love autopsy".
In my reflective mood, the cheesy song inspired me with thoughts about relationships. Sometimes we have confident reasoning to "end it, take a bow, exit the stage, and draw the curtain". But other times, we will remember a shared moment and wonder why things had to go wrong. A "love autopsy" would be handy in times like these. If all humans inevitably behave unfavorable at times, than flawed behavior can't possibly be the main "cause of death" for relationships. We "toe-tag" our past relationships and label them with a flaw to justify the "death". "But, what if flaws aren't the problem?" I wonder. I think it's possible that
fate is our "silent killer".
Fate is like a cancer. It is almost impossible to avoid and very difficult to fight. It is the idea that everything that's meant to be will be. There is a Chinese proverb that claims there is an
invisible red thread that connects you to everyone you are destined to meet. If this is true, than every personal encounter we have with another individual was a preordained experience. I love this. As I look back on my "first conversations" with different people, it's amazing to think that it was the result of life course (the red thread's direction) and mathematical probability. I can almost imagine God looking down and saying, "Yes! Finally! I've been waiting for this part!"
If fate is responsible for the result of our relationships, than maybe we are too quick to become bitter. Its okay to mourn a "death", but we must also celebrate the encounter. Our relationships form because our "life-threads" cross inevitably with another's. Almost always, it's only for a sweet moment and than our threads change course. But maybe once you meet your soul mate, your "life-threads" will continue to cross. It may take a lifetime to find that person. But, no matter how long the time gaps are between encounters or the barriers standing in the way,you run into each other. This phenomenon is called, serendipity.
Since "love autopsies" aren't real, we may never know the actual "cause of death" for certain relationships. But, maybe we can rest assured in the fact that fate is on our side and will allow us to "live" one day.
So,go with the flow......and run for your life!